Throughout the long term I’ve presumably composed many articles on
how guardians can deal with their teens. This, I accept, is
the main I’ve composed on how adolescents can ‘deal with’ their folks.
The following are seven standards of Care and Taking care of alongside an
application for each.
Reality. Guardians have affirmed this with me again and again
for over 20 years: Mother and Father would prefer to know the
truth about something front and center – regardless of how terrible it might
be – than to figure out later they have been deceived and conned.
At the point when guardians know reality, they can manage what is genuine,
what’s more, things don’t get as befuddling.
Application: Come clean, anything that it is. You might need to take
some intensity, particularly assuming you are telling the truth. The advantage is
that now there are more minds dealing with on whatever issues
you are confronting,
Trust: Confidence in a family resembles tokens in a computer game room.
In a computer game spot, the more tokens you have, the more
games you can play.
In a family, the more trust you have, the more you are capable
to do. The more stores you can make into your parent’s
‘trust bank,’ the increasingly more you will actually want to be in
charge of your self.
Application: Ask yourself ‘is the thing I’m doing going to construct
trust or break trust?’ When trust is broken, start the maintenance
work immediately. It’s a fair wagered that you have lived with these
individuals for a couple of years and understand what they need to see in
request to construct trust.
Pester, Bother, Bother. I’ve only very seldom seen a circumstance where
one individual was annoying without the other individual being
flighty here and there. On the off chance that you think your folks are
pestering you, search for where you might have been
unreliable here and there.
I can promise you this: Guardians don’t sit up late at
late evening thinking things like ‘alright, what could I at any point find to annoy them
about tomorrow?’ As any individual who has at any point done it can tell
you, annoying is unpleasant.
Application: Pick something your folks have been annoying
you about. Sort out some way to get out before the circumstance
by dealing with it – doing the task, whatever – before they
could specify it. In the case of nothing else, the shock and disarray
on their appearances will be worth the effort.
Viewpoint. In the event that you’re 16, except if you have a truly unimaginable
memory and can recollect as far as possible back to the belly,
it’s a sure thing you have around a 13-to 14-year point of view
on life. Your folks, then again, have been observing
you your whole life and, assuming they make a good attempt, can even
recall life before you.
That is the reason it’s occasionally hard so that them might be able to see you as a
high schooler turning into a youthful grown-up as opposed to considering you to be a kid.
Application: Give them some room when maybe they are
condescending to you. Haggle with them. Keep in mind, they
are simply showing the affection they have for you.
The W’s. The more trust you have, the more you can do.
The to a greater extent a specific kind of construction you have, the more
opportunity you will have.
Guardians need to know the W’s: Who you will be with.
What you will do. Where you will be. At the point when you will be
home. Rather than considering this to be a nosy, controlling agony,
have a go at viewing at it as a pass to more opportunity. On the off chance that you reliably
supply your folks with this data, the to an ever increasing extent
you’ll have the option to do. Application: When you approach your folks
about going out with companions, supply them with the W’s – as numerous
as you most likely are aware – before they inquire. Astounding, even emphatically
stunning your folks can be entertaining.
An Asset. Since your people have lived longer than you have,
they have had a couple of more educational encounters. They are an abundance of
data on the most proficient method to do a portion of the undertakings of life. They could even
be an asset on how to avoid some. Use them. Pick their cerebrums.
Everybody likes to feel as though they have an insight to grant.
Application: As you search for/go after a position, purchase a vehicle, learn
about connections, and so on, get some information about what to
do and not do, say and not say, and so forth.
Data. No matter what, guardians have this inquisitive little
propensity for being keen on your life. In the event that you are not sharing a lot
with them, they will seek clarification on some pressing issues. Which sets up this great
little family scene:
Parent: ‘How was school today?’
Adolescent: ‘Fine.’
Parent: ‘What did you do today?’
High schooler: ‘Nothing.’
Parent: ‘Goodness hey now, you probably followed through with something!’
Bothering, shouting and banging of entryways not a long ways behind.